Daring Greatly

Sat at my kitchen table overseeing a pot of lentils bubbling on the stove and wondering where on earth my Muse has got to. It's been some time.

What a month! Well, a little over a month now. Here I am in Bari, living the dream of the ESL teacher in the Med. (Today, my one full day off each week, along with indulging myself in the purchase of a NEW BOOK from the ENGLISH SECTION of a nearby bookshop that also happened to be OPEN ON SUNDAY, I did my laundry, cleaned the kitchen and swept and mopped the kitchen and hallway floors - yes, expat life is just as glamorous as it is at home) There's been a fair amount of sun and pizza so far, some highs and lows and some moments of soul-engulfing self-doubt. Here we are, doing the 'living abroad thing'!

I watched another awesome Brene Brown talk last night and she settled so much in my mind. If you don't know her look her up - she's a social worker who studies the importance of vulnerability in living a full and meaningful life (whatever that is to you). She wrote the book that gave its name to this post.

Her talk cleared up one pretty big thing I've been chewing over for a couple of weeks now:

No matter what happens in six months' time, whether I stay in Italy, go somewhere else or go home, whether I stick with teaching or try my hand at a different job, the most important thing is that I will have shown up. I will have 'stepped into the arena and allowed myself to be seen.' I will have dared greatly.

Those close to me will know I've got something of a spiritual streak, and over the past couple of years that's manifested itself in a great respect and admiration for the Quaker faith. When I'm at home I attend a Quaker meeting, and there's something about silent worship, about waiting on God, about getting the frick out of the way and letting him get on with whatever it is he needs to do, that really appeals to me. And what doesn't appeal about a life based around the principles of peace, equality, simplicity and truth & integrity?

Anyway, I sense a digression happening and the main reason why I mentioned this is because I was reading Quaker Faith and Practice online last week and came across a lovely quote I wanted to share:

God does not do things for us - he enables us to do them for ourselves.

A full and meaningful life, a life where we allow ourselves to be vulnerable in order to create, to live to our fullest potential, to love, to make mistakes and to risk failure, cannot ever be a passive life. To me, this 'enabling' from God spoke of empowerment, of the voice that tells you 'you are enough' when everything else would have you believe otherwise, a vindication of your vulnerability and the knowledge that the showing up and being seen is the most important part of all. None of the rest of it even matters. It's sawdust. If you don't take action in your own life and do for yourself whatever it is you need to do, no one else - not even God - will.

And it occurred to me that this is what Quakers do in their meetings for worship - they show up and make themselves vulnerable to God. And then they go out and practice their faith with the empowerment that this act of showing up has given them.

This new adventure is teaching me so many lessons and I'm so glad I chose to do this. Who knows what direction the wind will blow in next, but I know one thing - as long as I can show up and dare greatly, there will be no regrets.